I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
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He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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