I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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