You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
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Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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