Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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