Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
