After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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