What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Randomize
