I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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