im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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