Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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