I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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