After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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