I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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