I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
