You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
