; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
