Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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