i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This house was built for laser tag.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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