The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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