I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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