I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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