it hurts more in the daytime
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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