am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
