that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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