Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize