i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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