'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
