It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
