Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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