let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
