Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
