It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
