Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
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She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
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Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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