woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
