I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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