The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
