Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
