ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
