"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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