Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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