I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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