Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize