im gay
i know
yea but for you.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
