My hand turned me down
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
