Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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