I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
420 ftw
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Of course I have a pirate flag
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Damn victory sex feels great
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