Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
