You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
