I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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