I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize