Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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