Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
