Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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