Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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