Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
