Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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