the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
