Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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