just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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