Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
